The following was transcribed from an audio file discovered by the Tucumcari Highway Patrol on June 23rd, 2006.
Unknown Speaker, female (US):
It’s a long drive back, so I thought I’d get this down while it’s still fresh in my mind. Honestly, it was a huge waste of time. What is it with whackos and trailer parks?
Alright, I’ll try to keep this official for the archives. The date is, uh, June 16th, 2003. We received a call three days ago on the hotline about some unusual activity in New Mexico. The caller wouldn’t go into specifics, one of those “won’t talk on the phone, you never know who might be listening” types. So, I drove down from Chicago.
Turns out the town was a dustbowl: trailer park, convenience store with a fifty-year-old gas pump, and one stop sign which was apparently optional.
I met the caller at the address they left with the hotline… umm…
Papers rustle in the background
It’s in my files somewhere. The caller was male, 5’6” maybe, about… Oh, I’m not good at descriptions. He was old and bald and completely out of his gourd. I mean, I’ve heard some crazy theories, everything from little green men to government conspiracies, but this was a new one even for me. I drove 1,200 miles to be told that Earth is being invaded by, wait for it, space wizards. That’s right, folks. You heard it here first. Wizards from space come down to recharge their cosmic mana.
I don’t know who this guy thought I was. He kept rattling off acronyms, some I’ve never even heard of: CIA, NSA, FBI, PTA, WTF. I tried to explain an organization funded by UFO fanatics and museums didn’t have that kind of pull, but he kept saying we had to alert NASA. He had this whole theory worked out that they’re here to siphon energy from our nuclear power. Blah, blah, blah, something about temporal inconsistencies, time jumps, metaphysical phenomena, blah, blah, blah.
There’s not enough tinfoil in the world. The data he pulled looked real though, so that’s worth checking out. Anomalies over Japan, Russia, and the lower United States. Don’t ask me where he got that information. Seriously… don’t ask me. Anyway, that’s worth looking into. Probably nothing more than…
The ambient sound of the vehicle softens, suggesting it slowed.
Uh… I seem to have driven into the middle of some kind of historical re-enactment.
Cattle mooing can be faintly heard in the background.
Wow. These people are really committed. That’s a lot of cows. They even have—
There’s a dull thud.
Hey! What the hell?!
A window rolls down.
You! Yeah, you! On the horse! I saw you throw that! You’re going to pay to get that dent fixed! Oh, what’re you going to do? That gun’s like two hundred years old.
Yelling can be heard faintly. There’s a loud bang that seems to be a gunshot.
He shot at me! Oh my god, these people are insane! They’ve all got guns. They’re… I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Just get these cows out of my way! I’ll just go if you—
There’s more gunfire, the sound of a vehicle revving, and angry voices. It eventually fades into the background.
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ! [omitted expletives]. I’m reporting these people to the police.
He could’ve killed me! Stupid cowboys! There has to be a town nearby. I’m going to… [static] …when I… [static] …to…. [static] ….wait…. [static]
Is this thi— working? [static]
…what… [static] … can’t be… [static]
…help!… [static] …no!
The audio goes dead for several minutes.
I, um… managed to get this working again. My car’s dead and I… I have no phone signal. I can’t…
I think we’re under attack. There was a huge cloud to the… I think it was the west. Everything went dead. I couldn’t get the radio to work and… I tried to call the police. Anybody. But there’s no signal. The cloud was so huge… It…
I’ve been walking. There’s nothing out here, and it’s dark now. There’s no way it’s nighttime, but I can’t see the sun. It’s just… it’s just dark. I don’t know what to do, and…
A low whining becomes audible and gradually grows louder.
[whispering] There’s lights in the sky. Everywhere. Oh my god… They must be bringing more bombs. Who is doing this? I have to try to tell someone, but my signal is gone. I—
Those… those aren’t planes. It’s just light. So bright. It’s… I can’t see anything. Wait, something’s moving. I can’t quite…
A low voice speaks, gibberish.
Is someone there?!
Gibberish. There seem to be multiple voices speaking.
Who’s there?! I can see you moving!
Running footsteps and heavy breathing. The low voices grow louder, overlapping.
[yelling] What are you?! What are you doing?! No, I—
A loud rumbling grows until the audio cuts out. Several hours of blank audio follow.
Neither the speaker or her car have been recovered. No missing person has been reported in Chicago or the surrounding area. No UFO investigatory organizations are missing personnel.
The phone was at 25% battery when it was discovered. It was connected to an unlisted number, and no record of purchase exists.
No record of historical re-enactments taking place within the area have been found, and no nuclear activity has been reported. There was a single report of lights in the sky observed by a Tucumcari mailman on November 13th, 2004.
An investigation is ongoing.